What To Do Instead of Yelling (For You & Your Kids)

“Put your toys away!”

“For the third time…”

“Are you even listening?”

“Ugh!”

Heard these before?  Said these before?  Lot’s of times when dealing with kids, we loose our temper.  Kids lose their tempers, too.  It happens, it’s going to happen.  The amount of times it happens is something we can change.

Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”   Today, I want to crack this verse open.

In my opinion, unwholesome talk is anything not uplifting, relevant, or praiseworthy.  Now,  in NO way am I saying that every word we say must be serious and down to business…..Trust me, I laugh more in this house and I like being silly.  But, unwholesome talk is wrong.  That means yelling and gossip is not good.  As this verse says, whatever we say should benefit those who hear it.  Yelling is not helpful.

Yelling occurs mostly out of anger.  We are going to get angry every once in a while.  When dealing with our anger, yelling is not the option.  There are ways to prevent yelling and exploding in anger.

4 Ways to Prevent Yelling

  1. Patient 5 – When you or your child feel like you are about to explode, use your hand to guide you.  Using your fingers, follow these five steps to calm down.  On your first finger, close your eyes and take a deep breath.  On the second finger, ask what is truly making you upset.  Be realistic.  On the third finger, put yourself in the other person’s shoes.  What might they be angry about?  On your fourth finger, say a prayer asking for patience and the ability to work out your feelings.  On your last finger, calmly begin a conversation with the other person.
  2. Mouse Voice – At the moment anger is rising, become a mouse.  Speak in a quiet, calm voice.  This tone will help to keep your tempers under control.
  3. Silly Word – Instead of yelling, say a silly word like “Bubbaleepig!”  It’ll take away some tension, too.
  4. Timer – Set a timer for 5 minutes where both arguing parties take a break and collect their thoughts.  Then, have a calm conversation.

patient 5

Have a wonderful day!

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